Fit and Pregnant the 2nd Time Around { + my go to snack recipe }

I want to start by talking about what I thought about working out while I was pregnant with Carson... I was very cautious. I remember being about 6 weeks pregnant going to a Body Attack class with a friend and the entire time thinking that the tiny egg was bouncing around in my uterus. My boobs were so sore too, so that was the last time I did that class my entire pregnancy. I stuck to RPM and Body Pump only. I gave up Body Pump at about 23 weeks because I had gained over 20 pounds and my lower back was sore.  I went on to gain 60 pounds taking me to a weight of 200lbs!!! 

After I had Carson, the weight certainly didn't magically disappear. I remember going to my 6 week check up at the doctor and almost having a melt down because I was still 194lbs. I did have a c-section, but still, I was under the impression that once the baby came out, the weight came off. Was I ever wrong.

It took me about 18-20 months to loose ALL the weight.  It was so much work and the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Trying to find time to workout while having a new baby was hard. I eventually gave up on leaving the house too many times a week and worked out a lot at home. Jillian Michaels is my hero! 

So, that's a brief background of what I struggled through. I also made huge changes in how my family eats as well. I learned a lot by following Hol:Fit. 

Being pregnant again was so exciting, but I instantly became anxious about gaining weight again. I was at my healthiest weight and felt super strong. I just didn't want to throw all my hard work away. I knew there had to be a way to do this better the second time. I talked with my doctor to make sure she knew how intense my workouts were and made sure it was ok to continue my current routine throughout the first trimester. I was given the approval so I kept up with everything for about 2 weeks. I had some light spotting which freaked me right out. I decided that I had to stop all exercise until I knew everything was ok with the baby. We had an ultrasound at 7 weeks and the heart rate was great and everything else was normal. I was still nervous. The spotting eventually stopped. It only lasted for 10 days, but it was scary. Once it had stopped long enough, I started easing my way back into my fitness routine. Between workouts at home and the gym, I got back to where I was. 

Now, I'm almost 22 weeks and feeling amazing! I've only gained 10 pounds and am feeling very strong. Three main pieces of advice have helped me get to where I am now:

{1} Brace your abs. It's like giving a hug to your baby

      I for sure let my abs go very early with Carson. I was scared to suck it in thinking I wouldn't be giving him enough room to grow. What was wrong with me?? 

{2} Listen to your body. If you were doing it before you were pregnant, it's ok to elevate your heart rate and push yourself. As long as you don't feel like you need a nap after your workout, you didn't push yourself too hard. 

     With Carson, I was much more concerned about heart rate. I remember it took literally nothing to be at 140. I ended up not really enjoying my spin classes because I was so worried about being breathless and thinking I was going to make my baby stupid by depriving him of oxygen. I can tell you now, he's a very smart boy, I didn't need to worry SO MUCH!

{3} Do not eat for TWO!!! Just keep eating what you ate before and even when you're working out, just make sure you're drinking lots of water and having balanced meals with healthy proteins and veggies.

      This is HUGE for me. I ate like a pig with Carson. Yes, he turned out healthy, but I think he would have regardless. Eating 90 grams of protein a day was crazy. I ate 2-3 bowls of cereal for breakfast too. I'm pretty sure that's part of the weight gain issue. Pancakes and sausages too on weekends... ya, that was the issue.. 

Following those 3 tips have really helped me to feel this great. I've also added an extra component and have been focused on upper back strength. Something I've been weak with anyway. It's made a huge difference to hammer out a few sets of assisted chin ups and rows before or after a cardio class at the gym. It's helping me compensate for my bigger boobs and belly :) 

Overall, this pregnancy has been so much easier because I know what I'm doing this time. I'm more aware of my body and what's ok and what's also not ok. I'm determined to keep the weight gain down, but I'm also ok with gaining some weight. I know that's part of the whole journey. I'm a happier person when I'm active as well. My husband knows when I need a workout!! There are so many benefits to keeping active during pregnancy. I'm so grateful that I have the time and energy to keep up with my fitness. 

Here's my favourite EASY snack recipe. I stole this from Hol:Fit. this makes enough for an entire week for 2-3 people. I freeze them wrapped individually for an easy grab and go snack :) ENJOY!

Mix all the wet ingredients together first in a large bowl. Then add all the dry ingredients and mix well. Use a glass baking dish and line with parchment paper. Spread mixture into bowl. Pop in the freezer for about an hour. Take out and cut into squares. YUM!

• 1 ripe banana mashed {or 4 dates pureed with water to make paste)
• 2 tbsp Coconut oil melt in micro for 10 sec
• 1 tsp Vanilla Extract
• 1/4 c Maple Syrup
• 1/2 c Peanut Butter (or any nut butter i.e. almond, pecan, cashew, etc.)
• 1.5 c Oats {I use 1/2 c or more quinoa flakes}
• 1/2 c Shredded Coconut
• 1/2 c Raisins (or goji berries, date chunks, cranberries, craisins, dried cherries/mangoes/apricots/etc. Any dried fruit or SEEDS
• 1/2 c Chocolate Chips & Cacao nibs mixed
• 4 scoops Natural Whey Protein Powder
• 2 Tbsp Flax Seeds
• 2 Tbsp Hemp Seeds
• 1.5 Tsp Cinnamon

I'll Love You Forever

Each night after Carson gets his books, we cuddle in his rocking chair. I've sung this one little song for a long time, but over Christmas time he wanted Frosty, then Santa Claus is Coming to Town. I was tired of the Christmas songs and started to just sing the words of the book: "I'll Love You Forever".  

Yes, I memorized the whole book since I've read it so much!

Since Carson was sick when this started, I've said the words to the entire book probably 100 times. He now repeats it to his baby daughter. He found my baby from when I was a baby and called her Annabella. He also calls her his baby daughter. He puts her to sleep and baths her. It's pretty cute. 

The sweetest thing in the entire world is hearing "I love you too Mama." I can't believe how much that can just completley melt my heart. How can I love something this much and then MORE? 

Parenthood has it's very rough moments, I'm not going to lie, but hearing those three words and feeling like they're genuine is such a huge reward for all the hard days and nights. 

I know one day Carson will probably say he hates me too, or even worse things, but I'll never forget the sound of his sweet voice at this age saying he loves me.

He also sings along with me some nights for a bit until he gets tired enough. I really enjoy this special time with him. I wouldn't trade it for even a minute of watching TV or sleep. 

The other song I've started to sing to him, just because the "I love you forever" book is very long and requires a lot of thinking at times, has been:

"You are My Sunshine"

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never know dear how much I love you
So please don't take my sunshine away..

Carson also sings some of these lines with me. It's really sweet. I really do feel so grateful being able to share these special moments with my little boy. I'm going to miss these days when I won't be able to rock him in a chair anymore. I'm just soaking it all up now ;)
 

Am I Invisible?

Carson was sick, sick for 6 days in a row. I went to the doctor after 2 days of fever and no sleep and was told it was viral and to come back in 48 hours if the fever continued. 3 days later, I went back. He has strep throat. First time ever. I was so relieved we actually figured it out. It was around 3pm when we found this out and Carson hadn't napped. He hasn't been napping since he's been sick for some reason. He fell asleep in the truck on the way to the store to go fill his prescription. I felt horrible dragging him around this tired, but I had no choice. He needed his medication--yesterday!

 I'm sure people were looking at me like I was a horrible parent. Why did I have such a sick tired boy out at the store? I hadn't showered in 2 days either, so I guess I didn't look all that amazing either.

So, I dropped off the prescription and wandered around the grocery store. I tried to keep Carson from being upset or falling asleep in the cart. After 20 minutes, I went to pick up his prescription, there were two people ahead of me. At this point, Carson was whinny and wanted to be held. He rested his head on me and was getting hot again too. Why did I not go to my usual pharmacy? I've never waited this long before for antibiotics! 
 
The person ahead of me had an older son who also had strep. She was nice and told me Carson would be better soon. It wouldn't take long. I felt like she was genuine. It was of her to say that to me. I felt like someone maybe understood what I was going through.

After waiting for what felt like forever, it was finally our turn. Carson wanted to come out of the cart and his boots got stuck. I had to try to get them out as he was screaming. There were about 3 people behind me and no one helped me. 

I paid for Carson's prescription with one hand and had to push a giant cart with the other to go pay for the 7 things I had picked up. People just looked at me like I was crazy or something.

Of course, it was busy... it's never this busy during the day! I had Carson in my arms crying and upset. I got in the best line I could see. I felt like I wanted to cry myself. Did I really need milk and eggs? 

Just because I'm so lucky, I got in line behind an older person who doesn't know how to use her own debit card. Seriously, why use a debit card if you don't know how to use it? Just use cash lady!! I was starting to loose it. She took forever to move too and I just wanted to hit her with my cart! 
 
There were several people in line behind me. I put up all my food with Carson clinging to me and crying, all with one hand. No one helped me. 

I finally paid for everything. I used my TAP PASS for debit too. It was so easy! I walked out, still with Carson clinging to me, he would not go back in the cart. My arm at this point was numb, but I just kept on going. I guess all my workouts are paying off!

We finally got home, he got his dose of medication and wanted to cuddle in our bed. I was starving! Oh well, he needed me. 

Austin finally got home and brought me some food in bed once he figured out where we were. Carson fell asleep pretty quick, but it didn't last long. While I was sitting in my dark room, alone with my sick boy, I was able to think about my experience at the store.

I just feel like if I saw another parent with their sick child, I'd help, or at least offer. I'd maybe let the parent go ahead of me in line. What's wrong with our culture today? No one helps each other, no one understands what others are going through. Everyone just ignores others,they wouldn't want to make eye contact or maybe they'd feel like they need to help. It seems like people just care about themselves and what's best for them. No one wants to be inconvenienced. 

I was disapointed, but also not overly surprised. I'm starting to realize that I can't expect help, I can't expect understanding, or compassion from people. This world can be ugly.  Words are one thing, but actions are another.

All I can be is who I was taught to be. Someone who cares about others and takes time to help when I see a need for it. I will make sure to teach Carson to do the same. 

Sometimes I feel like I'm too nice and I worry that because I've had some negative experiences, I'm going to turn bitter, I'm trying to fight against that. I was born a people pleaser, which isn't a great thing at times, I've had to learn to say no to things when it isn't right for me. I need to stand up for myself more too.

As connected as we think we are with all the social media these days, people are so disconnected when it really counts. There's no sense of community, there's not a lot of support for young families. It feels like people just don't care what you're going through, their life is more important. Everyone is in robot mode or attached to what's going on in Facebook land. 

Was I just invisible at the grocery store yesterday? I know I wasn't and now I know how much I'm capable of too... even at almost 19 weeks pregnant with 6 sleepless nights. I am strong and I had to dig deep for my inner strength to take care of my son. 

The past week has been a bit rough, being home all day with a clingy kid. I love the extra cuddles and I want to be here for Carson. It can be frustrating and stressful too when one little thing needs so much of me. Austin tries to help, but Carson just wants me. I can only give so much. I've just felt so alone and not understood. I feel horrible not being able to work. What can I do though? I don't have any family around that can help, and I'm sure Carson would only want me anyway. It's just not so simple. 

These are the days are the days of parenthood I'll want to forget, but at the same time, I know I won't because I've grown as a person and as a Mother from what I've endured. Carson and I have had a lot of bonding time too. It's crazy how one minute it feels like I just can't do this one more day, but 3 more days pass and I'm still doing it. The roller coaster ride continues. When it's hard, it's really hard, and when it's good, it's really good. 
 
I won't give up on the people in this world. I know there are many people who would have helped me out. I know that the most important thing is that I was strong for Carson and did my best for him. Nothing else matters but my family. I can't rely on anything or anyone to understand me, bring me dinner or clean my house. That's my job. 

Carson is on the mend now and I appreciate the lessons I've learned this week. Just try to remember next time you see a crazy Mama struggling anywhere, just offer to help. Take a minute or two, it would mean the world to that Mama...