It's been a week since my first day back to work. I am working about 15-25 hours a week and on paper that doesn't seem like much, but it's been a lot harder to adjust to than I anticipated.

I was so anxious about how Carson was going to be without me there at bedtime. I was hoping for the best, but somewhat wanting him to miss me too. He did really well for Austin for the first two bedtimes without his Mommy. No issues. It was just a normal night, but without me there.

It was so strange being at work. Being in an adult environment is weird to get used to. Working as a CSR in the bank is also a very social job. I was overwhelmed for the first few days. It was weird not being able to eat when I wanted, or even fart! Yes, fart! I said it. You sure get used to being at home when you're on parental leave.

The first full day away from Carson was also a stressful day for me. Of course he woke up at 4am that morning and woke me up too. He did go back to sleep until 7am which is an hour longer than he normally sleeps. The one day that I had to be out of the house by 8am he does this!! Really!?? I had to actually get ready for work. This is a process. Something I'm not really used to. I've been wearing lululemon capris and joe fresh t's for the past 2 months religiously. I've even stopped making excuses for my attire lately. I just don't care! I'm a Mom! 

So where am I even going with all of this? I guess going back to work has been much harder than I thought it would be at first.  The good news is, like everything, it gets easier. I'm now getting used to it. It's crazy how women can add so much extra to their lives and just keep taking it. Really, wouldn't it be nice if life wasn't so expensive and we could just not work and spend 100% of our time with our children? On the other hand, it's been awesome getting back into a professional environment. I feel like I'm getting my brains back. (not all of them though, I don't think I ever will again.)

I was pleasantly surprised how easy it was for me to just throw myself back into my old job. I guess I shouldn't have been so surprised! I was doing it for 5 years almost before I had Carson. It's scary how much I just did without thinking. The team I'm working with has also been very welcoming. The mix of people I'm working with are so easy going and very down to Earth. I feel like I'm really fitting in and I will excel in what I'm doing.

I feel much more relaxed about leaving Carson for extended amounts of time now as well. I am now starting to think about leaving him for a weekend and doing something FUN.  I have fun every single day when I'm with Carson, but I mean, baby-free-fun!

Life is a constant battle of dinner, dishes, taking care of everyone and trying to fit in something for yourself (which usually comes last, but hey, that's just something else we accept right?). The real challenge is figuring out how to juggle the important things.

I'm so greatful for the help we've received from my Mother-in-law as well. Carson has not had to go to daycare nor have I had to shell out any extra cash. He gets lots of attention from her too. Thankfully, he's also sleeping for her. This was a HUGE concern before I went back to work.

As you may have read, we had some major sleep troubles with Carson at the beginning so I was worried that everyhting I had worked so hard to make work was going to be thrown out the window. Carson surprised me and kept to his sleeping routine. This was so relieving for us. 

June has been a very busy month for the Reid family! Austin's birthday is tomorrow, my sister's bridal shower is next week, and then it's Carson's first birthday the following weekend! I've been dealing with all this on top of starting work again.  How do I do it?  I just do.