Over the past few days I have been really trying to savour each moment I spend with Carson. I know I have been enjoying these last 9 months, but there have been many moments of frustration and stress that came along with a lot of sleep deprivation. Now that I am getting at least 5 hours of sleep in a row, life with a baby is much more manageable. Oh, and coffee is helping out too!
A change that has reminded me to just slow down has been seeing how quick Carson has gone from just crawling to pulling himself up on almost anything. Every day it seems easier and easier for him to just stand up. He's falling down less and less and reaching for everything. It's amazing to see how fast he's growing up. Carson is also talking so much more. It's mostly just "Dad, daddadadada!" in various ways, but it's still the cutest thing ever. He's been doing this since January, but now it's more like he's trying to tell us something. I'm working on getting him to say "Mama!" next.
I read an article in a magazine this week and it was written to new Moms. The author is a Mom herself and wrote about how when her baby was young she rushed getting out of the baby stage. I have wished the same thing from time to time. The article then went on to say that if she could go back, she would have held her baby a little more, not let her baby cry as much, not rush getting her baby out of a stroller-- it will happen fast enough! Her children are now older and she said she wishes she could just go back to those baby days. This article reminded me that this is probably one of the most special times of my life and that I need to take more time to just relax and enjoy my little baby now because I will never get these days back.
I am always afraid of life just passing me by. It already seems to be. I don't want to have any regrets. I want to enjoy these special moments as much as I can. Carson is such a happy little boy. He has so much to offer. He loves to interact with me and it's amazing that I created this little human. I really want to take more time to just reflect on these things. Sometimes life is too crazy. It's hard to slow down. There is always so much to do. I'm trying to find ways to simplify things and just let things go.
Once Carson was born it felt like my life just sort of reset. I started a new chapter of my life. Even from the beginning to now, it's unbelievable how much I have changed and evolved. I have learned so many things and gained so much experience. I was never prepared for just how much my baby was going to change my life. People say babies change everything, it's true. There is nothing I'd rather be doing than being Carson's Mom. He brings so much love into my life. It's an overwhelming feeling of love and joy when I look at him. He's just so pure and innocent and happy. I am so proud to be his Mother and to have created this beautiful family. We are truly blessed and I will never take these days for granted. I have learned a big lesson, to slow down and truly enjoy being in this moment.