Carson sure is a changing boy. It has been hard to keep up with it all to be honest. The crawling was so fast we just weren't ready for it. Our house was not baby proofed and it made my days long and very unproductive. Now, we have gates that actually work and stay where they need to be so I can let my little guy roam around without worrying too much. At least I can do the dishes and cook now. Yay for me!
The one change that has been harder to accept for me as the Mother, has been the end of breastfeeding. It's been a week now since the last night I nursed him and I'm still a little sad it's all over.
What is making it harder to accept is that I'm still making milk. It takes longer than I expected to just dry up. Having the milk still there keeps reminding me what I'm missing out on. I really loved breastfeeding. Yes, there were some challenges, but I loved having that quiet time with Carson.
I've also learned that once again, there are more hormonal changes that come along when the breastfeeding stops. My husband doesn't know what mood I'm going to be in from one minute to the next. Thankfully, he deals with me.
Carson has been the happiest, sweetest, cutest baby over the past few days. He's also sleeping so well and really enjoying his freedom around the house. I know giving him bottles and formula wasn't what I had in mind, but I am accepting it. It has just taken me some time.
I do think it's a sad way to end breastfeeding, no matter when it happens, by being engorged and uncomfortable. To me, breastfeeding is a beautiful relationship and the ending takes away some of the beauty.
I'm just focusing on the new changes and letting go of the "baby stage". Carson is entering into the toddler stage now and he's happier than ever!
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