Baby On Board!

Before I had a baby those little yellow signs made me think twice about following too closely and maybe slowing down a bit. Now that I have a baby, I'm a much more defensive driver than I ever was before.

Carson has always liked travelling in the car. When he was younger he cried only if we were out too long and if he was due for a feeding. He seemed hungry all the time at the beginning! It was a challenge to accomplish one thing when I was out of the house. Thankfully, that has changed. He likes to play with his toys and look in the mirror at Mommy. I talk to him and he seems to like the music on the radio. He taps his feet to the beats. If we're in the car long enough, he falls asleep, or if he's already tired. He's a good boy!

Carson sleeping in the car. Taken January 2012.

 Driving around the city I see a lot of dumb drivers. In particular those who drive too fast, follow too close, and cut me off in a snow storm, or anytime really.

When Carson was only a few days old, my Mom was driving us on the way to a doctor's appointment when a car cut us off. I instantly became so protective of Carson and started yelling and banging on the window. I can't remember what I was yelling, but it wasn't something I would have wanted Carson to hear. I was surprised how I reacted.

Life is precious and very vulnerable in a car. I knew that before having Carson, but I feel so responsible for him and I don't want anything bad to happen to him. He's such a happy baby and has so much life ahead of him.  I know I won't always be able to protect him from getting hurt, but I wish that driving wasn't so dangerous. People seem to be in too much of a rush these days and often don't realize how dangerous their actions could potentially be.


There was a bad snow storm a few days ago and I had to go out to the vet because Arlo's ears were really bothering him. Carson had to come with me of course because Austin was working. I started off at the grocery store because we needed something for dinner and again, I was missing key ingredients. The snow seemed to start falling faster and the roads took a turn for the worst as I was out. Great....

I couldn't believe how recklessly people were driving. I was doing 40km/hr at times and felt that was fast enough given the road conditions. Carson was making all these noises in the back and I was trying to just focus on being a good driver and not going in the ditch. I had Arlo at my head watching out the windshield.  It was an interesting drive. I had to remind myself to breathe. I was thinking to myself:"Stupid Arlo and his ears. Why did we get a dog? Why can't vets be open later so I didn't have to bring Carson? Why did it have to snow today? Why did that truck just pull out in front of me like that? Seriously!I hope I can break in time without loosing control!"

What's the point of having the Baby On Board stickers on our cars if people still tailgate and drive carelessly? It's so frustrating. Again, I'm realizing that I can only control my own actions as a driver and am continuing to drive defensively. I am going to have to work on my choice of words for these bad drivers as Carson continues to grow older and has already started to copy me!

We Deserve a Vacation

Our last vacation was January 2010 where we went to Mexico with family, so not even just the two of us. We agreed not to go anywhere last year since I was preggers and didn't feel like leaving the country looking like a whale and not being able to take advantage of the all inclusive part of going to an all inclusive, the alcohol!

Our last true vacation together. January 2010 Cozumel Mexico

Now, it's 2012 and we have a baby to take care of. We love having a family, but what about going away? I've always believed we wouldn't have to kiss our dreams away just because we have a baby, but in September we tried travelling with Carson... here is what happened:


We were very hopeful about our first attempt at a family vacation. Many things got in our way of enjoying our time together. We tried to keep positive and we failed!

At the time, Carson was still nursing at least every 2-3 hours and taking about 45 minutes to eat. We were pretty tied down to his feedings not leaving much time to actually see or do anything.  Now that I look back, we were crazy to go to Montreal. It wasn't exactly the most baby friendly place. We also tried using a stroller on a cobble stone street.... not a good idea!

Babywearing in Quebec City. Much easier

 than a stroller.

Quebec City was also a write off. It rained a lot of course, so we had a lot going against us. We decided to just give up and go home after 2 nights, one of which we camped out in our borrowed hippie bus that had a leak in the ceiling.

Driving with a 10 week old had it's challenges as well. The sound of Carson crying was stressful for us when we were stuck in heavy traffic and couldn't do anything to help him. I remember just wishing I could take him out of his car seat and nurse him. It was hard!

After this horrible, horrible experience, Austin and I looked at each other and said "We're NEVER doing that again!!" This is why we haven't done anything this winter.

Since Carson was 10 weeks he has changed a lot. He's on a much better routine, he breastfeeds within 10 minutes, he's easily entertained, we can give him food to distract him and he's a great baby in the car. So, we've been thinking we deserve a break. Even if it's not a romantic vacation or one that we are partying every night, it would be wonderful to get away from Ottawa and our home for a week and just sit on a beach. No dishes, no cooking, no dog, no housework! We would love to take Carson in the ocean and let him play in the sand.

Are we crazy for even considering a trip after what we went through in the fall? I don't know what the answer to that is. I do know that Carson is a different baby now and we are also much more competent parents. We can handle it... right?

We haven't made any decisions, and we may not end up going anywhere. Time will tell, so keep on reading!

Get Carson 'Onya' and Go!

One week, three carriers, not enough time to try them all! Two out of three is still pretty good. I tried the Manduca and the Onya Baby carriers. Unfortunately, I didn't have time for the Gemini. 

After trying the Manduca for two days and liking it, I went on to the Onya Baby carrier. What a difference from the Manduca. Right away the Onya Baby carrier was easier to put on. I had Carson on me and out the door a lot faster compared to the Manduca.  I also really like the feel of the Onya Baby carrier. The material is more breathable and the straps are wider allowing equal weight distribution between my shoulders.

There are some other great features to the Onya Baby carrier I liked other than it's friendly appearance and intuitive design. I love that the carrier can also be used as a chair. That's right, no matter where I go, as long as I have my carrier with me, Carson has a chair too.  

The straps are insanely easy to adjust compared to the Manduca. It felt like silk sliding through the buckles. If you have ever tried strapping a baby to yourself you would understand the importance of the adjustments being easy. 

The Onya Baby carrier has an excellent hood to cover everything so you can nurse your baby in the carrier. It also has great pockets to store keys, cell phone, a diaper and snacks. I'm already looking forward to summer hikes.

The Onya Baby carrier cannot be used with newborns. Your baby has to be 15 pounds before you can strap them in and go. This is why it's good to have two different types of carriers. One you can buy before you even have your baby is the Boba wrap http://store.bobafamily.com/baby-wrap/. 

I would highly recommend testing out structured carriers once your baby has arrived and is starting to outgrow the wrap carrier. It's a very personal choice which carrier will be suitable for you and your family (let's not forget the Dad's here!) and most baby stores do allow trials and instruction. Just get out there and ask and start wearing your baby!


Here are some links I found helpful:


How to use the Onya Baby carrier
http://onyababy.com/customer-services/support


Milkface Babywearing Manual
http://www.milkface.com/images/carriers.pdf

Rock-A-Bye-Baby!

I finally rocked Carson so much that my chair broke!  At first it was just a bit of squeaking, then a loud thumping noise began. We need a new chair!  I did manage to figure out the sweet spot, but it was hard to keep it there and sure made my legs burn. If Carson wasn't in a deep enough sleep, the noises of the chair woke him up. Super annoying! 

When we were expecting Carson many people told us not to spend too much money on a chair because we probably wouldn't get much use out of it. So we went the safe way and bought a $200 chair from Wal-Mart for Carson's room. Yes, it looked like a cheap chair which was not the look I was going for, but dropping over $1000 on a chair seemed unreasonable at the time. Wants and needs are very different things and I wasn't sure just how much I'd be rocking and feeding Carson in the chair until he arrived.

After six months of many, many hours of nursing and rocking, our chair is dead. What to do now? I can't live without a chair. When the chair broke I realized just how much I have been dependant on it. Over the past couple of months we've used it less for only rocking and also for book reading and cuddle time before bed. So our hunt for a new chair began.


Having a Scottish husband is great for finding good deals. We got an awesome deal on a very slightly used top of the line Dutailier glider. Austin found the ad on Kijiji and tracked the people down. We had it delivered too and it looks great in Carson's room.

Did I mention how much more comfortable the chair is too? What a difference. The lower back support actually exists and I almost fell asleep in the chair the other night at 2am. That definitely didn't happen in the crappy chair we had before. My butt used to go numb for sitting in it so long at the beginning when Carson "fed" for 45 minutes. 


It's hard to say that I wish we would have bought a better chair so that we didn't have to go through the stress of looking for a new one. Or dealing with the broken one, not fun at all. It's impossible to prepare for a new baby in some ways. We had no idea just how important a good rocker would be.


Having a new good quality chair really makes a difference in my every day routine with Carson. He likes to be rocked to sleep at night and I don't mind doing it. He goes down on his own for his naps, but there is something sweet and peaceful about holding him in my arms and watching him drift off to sleep for the night. As long as I stop doing it before he goes off to school right? haha! He'll always be my baby, not matter how old he gets.

Surviving Without Sleep

Sleep deprivation is brutal. It can turn me into this different person temporarily sometimes. It's just plain frustrating when your baby keeps waking up at all hours of the night. As much as I love Carson and love being the only one he wants for comfort and food, it is both physically and mentally exhausting.

When I was pregnant with Carson, I didn't believe people were so serious when they told me they wished they could bank their sleep prior to having children and use it to help get through some of the most tiring days.  I just thought I was young and could do it all no problem. I am doing it, but there are days that I just don't want to, but I have to. That's the thing, it never stops, you just have to keep going and going.

Having a baby is a lot of work that ultimately comes with many rewards. I didn't expect to be over 7 months into this and still be up so much at night. We've established a great bedtime routine and recently have had some good nights. I know Carson is capable of sleeping better and for longer stretches of time. That is what can be frustrating. I still remain hopeful that eventually it will become more consistent and I will get some sort of sleep back. I'm positive that teething is to blame for most of the recent sleep changes and have been told by other Mother's that teething lasts for 2 years.... great.

A couple of nights ago, Carson slept for 7 hours in a row without making a peep. I woke up and felt so refreshed. I went to the gym with Carson that morning and my head felt clear. I felt calm and relaxed. I didn't even feel the need for a single cup of coffee and I had enough energy to get through my entire day very productively.  Sleep makes such a huge difference, even just one night of it.

Having the support of my husband, getting out of the house (even if I don't need anything), drinking coffee (not more than 2 cups a day), eating healthy every 2-3 hours, venting to my Mom and friends when I need to, and Carson's smiles and laughs are all things that help survive the longest and toughest days. How can I ever be in a bad mood or feel like I don't want to do this anymore when I have a sweet baby boy who loves me? He can do the cutest thing ever and it makes all the tiredness go away... for about 10 minutes... but it helps!

I want people to know that when it comes to having a baby and when sleep deprivation happens, because it will at some point, it sucks. Finding something positive to reflect on and focus on helps to get through it. Time just goes on. Nothing stops for you to sleep. The dishes will all still be there and the piles of laundry too. It just is what it is. Where's that magic cleaning fairy? I was hoping she existed.

Adding a baby to our lives has doubled the speed of each day. It's insanity sometimes, but you just do it. No one is going to feel sorry for you and even if they do it's not going to help you. You're on your own and there is no easy way out of it. You can't call in sick either and babies don't have pause buttons. They do give a lot of love and happiness in exchange for your sleep..... I think that alone is worth the bags under my eyes!
Welcome to parenthood!

All You Need Is Love

Toady is Valentine's Day and though I may not buy into the cheesy aspects of the day, I have always been that emotional, hopeless romantic. I remember watching Cinderella as a little girl hoping that one day I would find my own true Prince Charming. I am lucky to have two Prince's in my life now. 

Carson kept me up quite a bit last night, so coffee is keeping me going for his first Valentine's Day. I can't help but think of the day that he will have a little crush of his own. He is already quite the flirt! 

This morning he woke up talking in his crib. It's lovely waking up to his smile and new little voice. He has such a soft, sweet side that I love about him. I cherish the moments of cuddle time we share each day. I will always be the first woman he ever loved.

There is so much love in our home. If you can look beyond the mess and clutter that exists 70% of the time, you can just feel love. Carson has opened up my heart more than I ever thought it could be. Loving your child is such a deep love. It's different from the way you love your partner, dog, family or friend. Becoming a parent changed my perspective on love. Now I can understand how much my parents love me and how unconditional the love for your child is. I appreciate and love my parents now more than ever.

Love is all you need... all you need is love.. The Beatles were right. Life is not about how much money you have, how big your house is or what car you drive. It's simply about love. Not just romantic love, but love for all.  If everyone just loved a little more, the world would be a better place. 

Carson is my little Valentine this year. We are going to spend the day together playing, eating, cuddling and laughing. These are things we do every day because there is always love in our day, not just on Valentine's Day.

All you need is love....

Soothers

I still remember back to the first few weeks of Carson's life and being so weird about not wanting to give him a soother. I didn't listen to my Mom when he was screaming in the car on the way to London, I was stubborn and felt that giving a soother may interfere with breastfeeding. I was wrong about that. Babies know what boobs are and they want them no matter what. It wouldn't have been the end of the world if, at that moment in time when I was on the 401 and had no place to stop in traffic, to just give him a soother to help calm him. What a silly new Mom I was!

The problem for me is/was that there is way too many different opinions and too much information on the web. It can really cloud your own natural judgments sometimes. I just thought I was right and wanted to do it my way. I didn't want to give in. To what? Allowing my baby to comfort himself without having my nipple in his mouth? I don't regret giving him a soother now at all, I only regret worrying about it so much. 

Now, we only give them to him for sleeping and if we're out and he's fussy. He's not addicted to them, they just help to comfort him. For the longest time he enjoyed sucking on his own fingers even over having a soother in his mouth. I am glad he outgrew the finger sucking...

It took me a while to find a soother that would stay in his mouth. I originally used the GUM brand and he did like them, but the MAM soothers are the best so far.

Arlo (my dog) also loves soothers. He's chewed at least ten soothers. That's expensive!

The next thing now that Carson is 7 months will be when to stop giving it to him, or weaning him from it eventually. He doesn't absolutely need one to fall asleep, but it just helps to relax him. Many times he spits it out before he even falls asleep.

A soother has also helped to be a good sleep signal. He knows that it's associated with sleep rather than being breastfed to sleep. Giving a soother has helped in changing some of his poor sleeping habits (which were caused by me.. more on that to come).

Wednesday Night Circus Act 1

Every Wednesday night for the next 2 months, and the past month, Austin has been going to a study group for an exam he will be writing in July of this year. He doesn't come home until 930pm these nights. One would think that just a few extra hours in a day wouldn't get so crazy, but they do!

Here is my story from last night:

330pm: Carson is teething and whinny. I went to feed him and possibly get him to nap.Of course, Marley and Arlo decide that is the perfect time to play with each other. Great. Just when Carson started to sleep, the barking began. 

406pm: The neighbourhood kid dog walkers come to the door to pick up Arlo for his weekly walk. At the same time, Carson is half asleep and gets woken up by more barking! Imagine me at the front door, two dogs barking and jumping up down and Carson crying in his crib. 


410pm: Both dogs are gone. The house is very quiet, but Carson is wide awake now. New plan- ditch the third nap-Carson gets his dinner instead.

430pm: Carson is done eating and is on to his Cheerios while I try cleaning the kitchen enough that I can actually see the counter and make myself something for dinner (which is still unknown). I also grabbed the vacuum cleaner at this point, but had no idea where the floor piece was. I guess the Swiffer will have to do.


440pm: Carson is done his Cheerios and is whining. I go get some toys for him to play with and bring his high chair right near the sink so that he can be right beside me... the beginning of 7 month separation anxiety.

503pm: Dishes are done, my stomach is growling. What to make? Eggs it is! Carson is throwing toys on the floor! It's fun to watch Mommy pick them up!


515pm: Dogs are both returned and looking for MORE food. As I grab the dog food container, it somehow slips out of my hand and food is everywhere... literally all over the floor!

520pm: I have Carson strapped to me in the Onya Baby carrier and am trying to pick up dog food as fast as I can so Marley (the lab) doesn't eat it all. All I can see is slobber on the floor and I just can't keep up. Carson is wondering what the heck is going on! On top of it all, my legs are killing me from lunges the other night at the gym. Seriously, why is the floor so far away?


530pm: Back to making my dinner and as I do so, I dropped an egg on the floor. Have you ever tried picking up slimy raw egg? Of course the paper towel roll is almost empty too. I was cheap and bought the no-name brand that you need to use 10x more to absorb anything! Is this really happening???


540pm: Carson is in his exersaucer now and basically crying at me the entire time I'm eating my fried egg sandwich. As I scarf this down the two dogs are playing all over the place and I have Carson screaming at me bouncing in his exersaucer. No matter what crazy faces I make at him or silly songs I sing, he just wants to be picked up.

545: We go up to Carson's room and play on the floor. All of a sudden he's happy... finally. Sitting on the floor with him, I just was to lay down and sleep, but Carson is grabbing my face.. ouch!

617pm: PJ time, new diaper and a feeding. Once again, this is the perfect time for the dogs to play right? They think so. Carson keeps turning his head to see what they're doing. Time to close his bedroom door.


703pm: Carson is now asleep, but not for long since every car that drives by requires a bark. When Austin isn't home the dogs are super protective of the house. 

Parenthood is all about unexpected changes and dealing with multiple things going wrong at once. Having to multi-task is essential and learning to just breathe is also a must. I'm still figuring out the breathing part.
 
I felt like I was going to collapse by the time Austin got home last night, at which point I was back in Carson's room getting him back to sleep.

This is the reality of 24/7 parenting. I was mentally going a little crazy yelling at dogs and dealing with poor teething Carson all at the same time, having one mishap after another.

I will say, every day is not like this one was and Carson is mostly the happiest baby ever, just not when he's tired and uncomfortable. The lesson learned: Finding humour in life is the best way to keep some sanity. 

I wonder what next Wednesday night has in store for me....

Carrier Trial

This week I decided to do a one week trial of baby carriers. Chiquita Baby does a trial and the store is convenient for me to go to. I have 3 different types of structured carries to try for a week. I already have 2 of the wrap fabric types but now that Carson is getting so heavy (17 pounds at 6 months!) I need something that will hold more of his weight to make it easier for us both.

I am trying the Manduca, Gemini and Onya Baby carrier's. 

I do have to thank two people for getting me into babywearing to begin with. Jess and Jayna. I was given my first wrap from Jayna and when I saw it I didn't think I'd ever be able to figure it out. Jess, thanks for coming over so much when Carson was little to help me figure it out. You also gave me the Sleepywear wrap to borrow which I love. It took practice and patience for me to learn to wear Carson more and I am glad I did it.

I better mention my husband too for being patient with me when I wanted to use the carrier and for supporting me and even using it yourself. What a man I have. All the help from you went a long way! Thank you.

Once I was comfortable wearing Carson in a sling and the wraps I had, I was wearing him everywhere. The dog park, all over the neighbourhood, the house, the mall, Farm Boy because their carts suck for babies and just about any chance I had. 

I really enjoy the benefits of babywearing. You can even nurse your baby while wearing them. This makes things much easier when out and about with a newborn who feeds constantly. I should have thought of that when we went to Montreal. It's not the most stroller friendly city.  

I often prefer wearing Carson to using a stroller whenever I can. It's more comforting for him to be close to me when we're out for a walk. He's warmer too and it gives him his Mommy time. It also allows me to be hands free when I want to be. 

Babywearing is great and up to now I've enjoyed it thoroughly. Finding a new structured carrier is this weeks task. I will update on my experience with each carrier and which one Carson and I choose :)

Five Little Monkey's Jumping On The Bed!

I started reading to Carson when he was about 6 weeks old. He was in his swing one night and I decided that he needed something other than the teddy bear mobile to keep him entertained. The first book I read to him was by Dr.Seuss, Oh, The Places You'll Go!

He really did seem to like being read to. It kept him quiet and happy. I was so excited that he was enjoying it that I started reading to him even more. 

When he started to get grabby, maybe around 3 months (it's bad that I can barely remember), he started to get tiny paper cuts from touching the pages in the books. I realized that I needed to use only board books until he got older. Oh, the things I've learned!

Part of his established bedtime and naptime routine is being read to. This means I read to him at least 3 times a day. This time with him is very rewarding. I remember before Carson was born I was worried that I wouldn't be able to be animated and talk to my baby the way I do. I've surprised myself at how much I have thrown myself right into his world and do make the most of the time I have spend with him. I never thought I'd have that Mommy voice! 

I am also lucky that my parents read a lot to me and my siblings. I have some of the books that my parents read to me to read to my baby now. It's pretty special.

So far, some of Carson's favourite books are:

Where's My Mom?

Five Little Monkey's Jumping On The Bed

The Very Hungry Caterpillar

Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?
Does A Kangeroo Have a Mother too?

I really like the author Eric Carle. There are lots of bright colours and repetitive stories to help baby's learn new words. I never feel like reading to Carson is a chore, it's a privilege.

My Darling

I heard Austin singing this song to Carson the other night... it was so sweet. It made me think of just how precious Carson is and how these are the moments I will remember forever. This song by Wilco is one of our favourite songs. I remember listening to it long before we even really thought of kids and now, here we are. Life is amazing.

My Darling- Wilco

Go back to sleep now
My darlin
And I'll keep all the bad dreams away
Breathe now, think sweet things
And I'll think of all the right words to say

Because we made you
My darlin
With the love in each of our hearts
We were a family, my darlin
Right from the start

Grow up now
My darlin
Please don't you grow up too fast
And be sure, darlin
To make all the good times last

Because we made you
My darlin
With the love in each of our hearts
We were a family, my darlin
Right from the start 

One huge thank you to my husband for showing me music like I never knew before. Carson is lucky to be able to learn from you as he grows up in this world. Maybe, just maybe, music can keep him grounded. 

What's For Dinner?

Dinner, dinner, dinner. What's for dinner?

Why has it taken me so long to be able to figure this one out? I had some very unrealistic expectations of what being "OFF" work would be like.

Before Carson came along I had visions of Austin walking through the door at 4pm, me greeting him at the door with a kiss,  a happy baby sitting in his high chair, and having dinner right on the table. That sure was some fairy tale. Instead, my table is full of random clutter, I haven't showered all day, I am wearing my pukey yoga pants, Carson is crying for something, and dinner is nowhere to be found.

This is at least what is was like for the first 4 months. Chaos! I thought I would never be able to get things organized without hiring a maid. I guess it was because I had a baby attached to my boobs for 8 hours a day. Carson was just a needy baby at the beginning. Not to mention the sleep deprivation I had the pleasure of experiencing at 4 months.

Dinner. I hate dinner. When I have been organized and planned something out, Carson needs something or wants something. I can't remember the last time I really sat down and didn't inhale my food. I'm always in a rush and never enjoying the food I do work hard to make. Oh well, this is life now. I have stopped trying to fight it and make "things the way they were". The truth it, things will never, ever be like they were. Life has changed. The more I was fighting it, the less productive I became.

I still find myself at the grocery store 4 times a week just to get everything organized. Baby brain doesn't go away once the baby comes. It can be as if I can only see one day at a time. Carson distracts me with his cuteness and I forget things more than ever. 

As I said, my expectations about being off were so far from what reality is. Taking care of a baby is a lot of work and exhausting itself. Doing anything above and beyond that can be challenging some days.

Now that I have had 7 months to figure this out, I have decided that I simply can't do it all sometimes. I need to be OK with that. The dishes aren't done? Oh well, Carson comes first. The floors are dirty? Oh well, Carson comes first. It's true what 'they' say about time flying by and I would really regret not focusing on what matters right now. What matters right now is not what's for dinner, it's Carson. He needs me now.

At 7 months old, he has become much more independent. This does allow me more free time to get house work done. We have also developed a routine of some sorts and I can get him out of the house without worrying about his naps being messed up. I still have my days that I just can't get it all done and that's just life. It's not going to be perfect.

So, what's for dinner tonight?

A Word About Patience...

Those of you who know me well, will laugh at this.


Patience.. what is that? Was I just simply born without it? I feel like I've been looking for it my whole life.

I have always wanted a family, and to become a Mother I figured I would need to be a lot more patient in order to survive. But, why would I want to learn to be patient? It sounded so hard and like something I could never do.

I have accepted that impatience is just ingrained in my personality. I was born that way. However, I have a choice whether or not I let that personality flaw take over my life. Here is how I learned about being patient on my journey to Motherhood.

Being pregnant comes with many choices. How to eat, how to exercise, how to dress, finding out the sex of your baby. I decided that the ultimate test in patience would be to wait to find out if we were having a girl or a boy.


I have never been good at waiting or dealing with unexpected changes. I was the little girl who went through my parents closet 2 weeks before Christmas and snooped to see what Santa was bringing for me. Waiting 9 months was going to be hard!

I was tested throughout my pregnancy too. Having four tempting ultrasounds, going 10 days overdue, being off work for a month before having Carson, being induced and waiting for the first contraction to start.... so many things, so much waiting. I had to do it though, I had to prove to myself that I can be different, that I could change and that I really wanted to. 

Carson was the biggest gift I've ever received. Waiting to find out the sex was so worth it.  He helped teach me to become much more patient, which I have really needed over the past 7 months.

Overall, I am happy to say that I have grown as a person. The once impatient Marie can somehow be suppressed if I want her to be. It has absolutely been a great challenge. Fighting against it every day. I have proved, however, that anyone can take something they don't like about themselves and change. If they want to. It's easy to resort back to my old self from time to time, but do I like that impatient side? Nope.

I have Carson to thank for teaching me to be more patient.  He has taught me many things about myself. It all started when he was so tiny and we had to make that big decision.

Right From The Start

                    June 30th, 2011: Carson Alexander Reid was born. 

The beginning of my adventure into parenthood started at this exact moment. Looking into my baby's eyes and realizing this was all real. I certainly remember feeling like nothing else in life mattered anymore but making this tiny human as happy and comfortable as I could. What an amazing moment to look back on.

Carson is now 7 months and I have learned so much between this photo and now. I want to share some of my experiences with you and hope to shed some realistic light on what parenthood is all about.

I know for myself, I didn't get it until it happened to me. I barley listened to what anyone had to say, I just was in denial that a baby was really going to come. 

I decided to start this blog for myself to document this first year as Carson's Mom and to allow others to learn from me, laugh with me and maybe even cry with me.

Here's a little about me and my family before we get started.

My husband and I have been married now for 3 years. We got married August 31st, 2008. We moved into our first home a few short months later. We also decided to add Arlo to our lives, a very smart little cockapoo who finds himself in lots of trouble! I could probably write pages and pages about him too!

We decided to start our family in 2010, and not long after thinking that, I was pregnant. What an exciting year 2010 was. Looking back now, I feel like it was so long ago that I was pregnant. It feels like my life started all over since Carson came into our lives. 

My husband works full time and is currently working on a certification in his field. We are busy to say the least. Finding time for each other has been difficult, but we are figuring that out too. 

I am currently on parental leave from work and am trying to decide what to do about going back to work... more on that to come.

Now let's get started!